I Forgive You

     I forgive you... Yes, you, the person reading this right now. I am writing this to family and friends. You might be wondering what I am forgiving you for. I guess I should fill you in on that now, right?
      Wayne and I go to an amazing church. One of the groups we "belong" to is Genesis, a wonderful group for young adults. I know, we're probably too old to be there still, but they are wonderful enough to let us keep attending...for now:) Last night we sang a song that we've sung several times, well one of the lines grabbed my attention.

"The cross before me, the world behind me. No turning back, no turning back"
    
I realized in that moment that I tend to live in the past and focus on things that have hurt me and upset me and I hold a grudge.God forgives us all for everything as long as we ask Him to, why is it so hard for us to do the same?  There are several people who don't even know that I hold that grudge against them, they don't know why. Some people may not care and that's fine. I'm not writing this for you, I'm writing it for me. I can't move forward and live my life the way God intended me to without moving out of the past and focusing on my future. To move out of the past, I have to let things go and forgive people so that I can start with a clean slate and forget about it all!!
    I have prayed over everyone that I need to forgive and told God what they've done to upset me and asked Him to help me move forward! There are some things that I am going to struggle with for a while. Some things are harder to get past, but I am going to do my best to work on them! 
     

My Spiritual Journey

   I am the closest to God now that I have ever been. It's taken time, faith, patience, prayers, and going down the wrong path at times to get here. After a lot of thinking and praying, I've decided it's time to write about this amazing journey. Like all of my blogs, I don't really care who reads them, they are mainly for me but I share them (well, most of them) to let others in. 
   I was born and raised in a Christian home, went to church on a regular basis, went to a private Lutheran school, and have always known that Jesus is my savior! Does that mean that I've always done the right things? Absolutely not.
I have sinned, every one of us do all the time. Those who say they don't are not only not being honest with themselves and others, they aren't being honest with God. I stopped going to church for a while. I wouldn't talk about my love for God around friends because I knew they either didn't believe or I wouldn't have "fit in". I explored a different religion that I soon found out wasn't for me. I won't say which one that was because It's not my place to say they're right or wrong, but it wasn't what I believe in.
  When I was in high school, one of my favorite teachers and I were talking and she told me about the church that she went to. I tried it out and loved it. I went there for a few years, participated in the youth department helping out, and loved the church family that I had. I just knew that I was going to marry someone who had a similar background and things would be perfect. I was wrong, and I'm glad I was. Wayne never went to church while growing up. He said yes the first time I asked him to go with me and he's been going ever since.  We moved to South Carolina and found the most amazing church! We started going to a young adult night, we went to the first young marrieds group that was there, we'd be there every Sunday, we prayed and read the Bible, but it wasn't enough. All three of our daughters were all baptized and know that God loves them, but aside from dinner and bedtime prayers, we didn't talk about Him. I felt something missing, it was almost like going through the motions without the emotions behind it. Don't get me wrong, we loved everything about it all, but I still felt empty. I found out later why. Don't worry, we'll get to that part!
   When we moved from SC to VA, nothing was the same. We had a few friends who moved with us, we met new ones there, but never found a church we couldn't wait to go to. That's when I felt the most lost. I still prayed, listened to Christian music, and loved God, but that's where it ended. I would let myself get stressed out way more than I needed to over everything. Why? Because I wasn't allowing God into my whole life.
   Ok, now for the best part..... I feel complete and no longer empty!!! We are back at the church that we LOVE! We have amazing friends, true friends, who are our church family. The girls all love going into their classes, singing praise songs all the time, praying, and we talk about everything God does all the time. Wayne and I are now there on Sundays, Tuesdays for the young adult class, Wayne's playing with the church softball team, we go to the young marrieds group, and I go to MOPS. Does that make everything right and us good people? Not exactly. Yes, it's great that we are getting so involved. That's what God wants, but He wants more than that too. He wants a personal relationship with us all. 
We've seen God really start working more in our family! Wayne's leading prayers at home, we're talking about the lessons we've been talking about in all of our classes and services all throughout the week and making them part of our lives, we're talking about what holidays (i.e. Easter and Christmas even palm Sunday) are about with the girls. My parents have found their first church home in a few years (we had a great one, but after a few pastoral changes in very little time, it wasn't the same to us). Hearing them talk about it is amazing to me!
  I'm reading the Bible and several Christian books and trying to better my relationship with God. Every single person has to work at that everyday. I'm praying and living my life the way God wants me to. It's great to know that I'm whole again because MY GOD LOVES ME!!! God loves you too.. How amazing is that? Seriously, GOD LOVES YOU!!!
  

Too many directions, one blog!

  So many thoughts, where to begin? Forewarning, this is going to be all over the place. lol

   Since the new year has started we've been working on one series in church. It was the most powerful series we've ever heard. Existing vs. Living. After the first week Wayne and I have had many conversations on the subject. Of course we're existing, we're alive right? BUT... We both agree we haven't been truly living. We aren't working to the potential that God has called us to. Yes, Wayne is in the Navy and works hard there, and I'm a mom and taking care of the girls and everything at home, but that's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is following the plan God has to us in his entirety. What is God calling us to do? We all have dreams, hopes, expectations, but God's are better, bigger, and stronger. I am so excited to see everything that God has planned for us as individuals and as a family!   (random, if you watch Bones, she talks about living vs existing in the episode from this week)

    The greatest place in Earth is of course... DISNEY!!! We have been there every year for the last three years and are so excited to be going back this summer. We have it all booked and set up!! Since booking it, we've seen advertisements everywhere. Wayne ordered the Disney planning DVD and we watched it with the girls. Lexi and Kayla remember a lot of it, Natalie was kind of there. lol We were newly pregnant. Seeing their faces light up and talk about everything they want to do when we go back. They can't wait to stay in the Disney resort, Art of Animation in the Cars family suite. We're going to Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, Animal Kingdom, Epcot, and Downtown Disney. They've picked out their costumes as well and can't wait til we get them. Lexi is dressing Cinderella, Kayla is dressing as Belle, and Natalie will dress as Snow White. Last time we went we did the Bibbidi bobbidi boutique where they had their makeup, hair, and nails all done, this time we aren't doing that since Natalie won't remember it, but we definitely will the next time we go. They are getting a HUGE surprise though once we get there:) I will leave that for a later post!!!
 

 This was the last time we were there with the girls once we visited the bibbidi bobbidi boutique

                                            The sign in front of the resort we're staying in

   This room is the family suite. It has a bedroom (left) a pull out bed (right) and the table on the very left pulls down into a bed too:) We can't wait to stay here

   The navy is our next stop on this crazy blog. lol Wayne's been in the Navy for a little over 6 years. The last time I blogged I talked about our decision to re-enlist. Well, after more praying and talking to some friends who now have a civilian job out of the Navy, we've decided not to re-enlist. We have about three years left and we will be on our next adventure. We are looking at two plants. One is in IL, not too far from where we're from, and the other is in MD. Either way, we're buying our first home!!!! We can't wait to buy a home, make it our own adding whatever we want to it and not having to ask permission or change it back. We got very lucky that we love everything about the house we're renting right now. We have loved getting to meet so many people and making some amazing friends that we never would have met without the Navy.

  Wayne's getting ready to run his first race. A 5k Rugged Maniac in the beginning of March. The girls are I are so proud of him and will be there cheering him on along the way!!

   Hmmm, I guess this is it for this post.. Till next time........

Big Decisions!

 Lately we have been trying to decide on some pretty big things. Things that will impact our family greatly! With a lot of praying and talking we finally came up with an answer.. First, some background info........
 
  This Friday marks six years that we've been a Navy family. Yes, that means that if Wayne hadn't re-enlisted 4 years ago, we would be done with the Navy life this week. That's crazy to think. We added an additional two years (cancelled the last contract and made a new one of 6 years), thought we would finish up that time, get a job outside of the Navy, move wherever that job took us (we know that Indiana may not be an option and are prepared to move wherever we need to go), and start our lives there. Well, Wayne had to extend his current contract by a few months making it 3 years left in to be able to move back to SC for shore duty. We've been talking about what we're going to do next. We weighed our options

STAY IN~(PROS)  a set paycheck(increasing every year and as he advances), great insurance, meeting so many great people
(CONS) moving when told even if it's last minute, changing the girls' schools each time, still away from family

GET OUT~ (PROS) able to settle in one area where we find jobs and buy a house, might be closer to family, possibly making more
(CONS) maybe not getting a job right away, having to pay for insurance

Wayne has always told me since day one that if I ever decide I don't like this life anymore, we're getting out as soon as his contract is up and he won't re-enlist again. I have always loved that about him. He takes my feelings into consideration and realizes that we are both part of the Navy, in different ways, but we both serve.

We have decided to re-enlist! Yep, that means at least another 6 years in. We still aren't sure if it will be a career or not, but we will decide whether or not to re-enlist again when that time comes.

That was the first, and biggest decision we had to make. The other was since we're getting two leave periods this year.. When are we going to go home to visit? Originally we were only getting one this summer and were going to go home then. Now that we're getting two, we are planning a family vacation this summer and waiting until around Christmas to go home. As always, visitors are welcome to come here anytime!