Hello, it has been way too long since I have pulled up my blog and just wrote. I do a lot of journaling but that isn't normally shared with anyone, much less everyone on my social media wo wants to read it.
This one will be a little long, just going to warn you ahead of time, but I promise if you read the whole thing, you will learn a thing or two about me. Here goes....
Our church has something called Celebrate Recovery that they offer each and every week to those who want to go, yes, even if that Wednesday falls on a holiday, they are there with open arms. A little over a year ago they were talking about it being the 1st Anniversary of having it at Essential and how it was going to be a giant celebration.
Rewind a little.... Celebrate Recovery is for anyone with a hurt habbit, or hangup. In my mind, it was for people struggling with something that I wasn't. I really thought it was for people who had struggles with drinking, drugs, bad habbits they needed help with. I could not have been more wrong.
Okay, back to the big celebration. A good friend of mine had said that she went and invited me to go and check it out. I said sure, made arrangements for Lexi to get to and from practice, this was when she was practicing every Wednesday. I arrived at the church and saw so many friends, I was nervous and excited, I had no idea what to expect. It not only was the 1 year anniversary of CR at our church, it was chip night! I will explain that in a little bit.
The evening started with worship, everyone went up and got their chips when their time of "sobriety" was called out. A blue chip is the first step, next chip is 30 days and so on. I still wasn't sure what CR was really all about. Seeing all of my friends and people I didn't know cheering for them as they made that public declaration was so emotional. Our speaker that night gave their testimony and I sobbed. I mean couldn't breath, non stop crying like I hadn't done in a long time. I didn't think about it then, but that was God telling me "Welcome Home".
Celebrate recovery is for people who struggle with drinking and drugs, but it is so much more than that. It's for people who are or have dealt with depression, eating issues, self image issues, anxiety, other habbits, hurts, or hangups that are keeping them from living the life with Jesus that they are longing to have.
I had a conversation with the Pastor who heads up our CR a few weeks later. I told him I wanted to continue attending but I am busy every Wednesday. He told me something that has stuck with me since that day. He said, "Lauren. when it is your time to be here, God will make that happen and make a way for you to be here". I wasn't able to make it bck for several months despite wanting to reach out more and see what I could learn from it.
A few months ago they announced they were going to start The Landing, CR for teens. Since I am very active in our youth group, they asked if I would mind going the first night so any teens from our church who went would have a familiar person there with them. At this point travel softball was done for the spring since school ball was starting up and I had Wednesdays open. When the night was over, I was asked to stay and help with the teen program each week.
After a few weeks I realized that I had begun to hand things over to God that I had held on to and that had held me captive for so many years.
Ready to learn the first thing about me in this blog........
When we introduce ourselves at CR, we start with "I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and I struggle with________, and my name is ________. When I introduced myself to the teens that first night and said that I struggle with anxiety, I can't tell you how many of them turned and looked at me with their jaws dropped open. I don't, well, I didn't share that often or to many people. I was ashamed of dealing with anxiety. I thought as a mom and navy wife, someone who served in our church, someone who manages a department at my job, and someone who loves Jesus more than anything, that it was wrong to have anxiety. It's not wrong, but it is something that I am working on daily trying to hand it to God and let Him take it.
During the next chip night, we have them once a month, I decided it was my time to take that step and pick up my blue chip. The unbelievable emotion that I felt, the weight literally lifted off of my shoulders making me feel free, the friends and other members who attend cheering for me making that decision was overwhelming. I felt free for the first time in so long and I felt so supported. I work with a good friend who attends CR at her church and the next day when I went in, I told her I had something to show her, I pulled out my blue chip and she cried with me!! Y'all, the amount of support you get with what we all refer to as "Our Forever Family" is amazing!
Are there still times I have to remember to hand things over to God before I let them affect me like they used to, absolutely, but I know that God had me!
I have since gotten my 30 day and 60 day chips. I am picking up my 90 day chip this week... As well as a blue one for another area of my life I am going to start working on.
This Wednesday I would love to invite you as my guest to come check out something that has been helping me tremendously. Message me for info... We are having dinner (pizza $5) at 6:15pm, worship at 7pm, chip night celebration time, graduation from CR step studies (I haven't done this part yet) and an amazing testimony given by a great friend. I can't wait to hear it, cheer for everyone picking up chips, and spending another night with my forever family!
Y'all, CR has been changing my life in more ways than one. I can't thank them enough for bringing it to our church and being there each and every week!
