I'm back!

     Where have I been you may ask? I am not quite sure myself!
I used to be someone who had to dress cute, have my hair and makeup done, and always looking my best to even go to the store. I was happy then. I felt great, had more energy, I felt like me.
    For a while now it's been, oh we're going to the store, I have sweatpants on, a t-shirt with snot or something on it from my kids and I was ok with that. Yes, I am a mom, but there's no reason that I can't be me anymore. I have decided that I'm taking over again. 
     I haven't ever been happy with my body and my size. Even when I was itty bitty in high school, there was something I didn't like then. (now I'd do anything to get that body back) When we lived in SC the first time, I had a friend who had kids the same age as ours. Our husbands worked together, we'd always hang out, we'd walk the entire base just to get in exercise. Then we moved to VA and I joined a gym. I loved it there, I was feeling great, seeing results. Miss Natalie then came along and I just gave up. I was so tired from chasing all three kids alone since Wayne was on deployment. I would put the kids, the house, doing things for everyone else ahead of everything else that I just didn't care about myself anymore. I am finding out, that's not the healthy way to live. I need to make time for me.  
       I have been praying for quite some time now wondering a lot of things. I have been feeling down, I guess is a good word for it. I am not happy with a lot of things about me... Well, the time has come, God has helped, and I woke up this morning with a new outlook. For the first time in a long time I got my older two off to school, Wayne off to work, Natalie ready for the day and I worked my butt off. My house is clean, I worked out so hard and it felt great, Natalie and I went for a long walk around the neighborhood, I have nowhere to go today, but I still got showered, hair done, and makeup on. I am feeling "normal" again. I have a long way to go, but this is a start for sure!
              Psalm 126:1-6
 ¹ When the Lord restored the fortunes of^[a] Zion,
    we were like those who dreamed.^[b]
2 Our mouths were filled with laughter,
    our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
    “The Lord has done great things for them.”
³ The Lord has done great things for us,
    and we are filled with joy.

⁴ Restore our fortunes,^[c] Lord,
    like streams in the Negev.
⁵ Those who sow with tears
    will reap with songs of joy.
⁶ Those who go out weeping,
    carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
    carrying sheaves with them

    

Life Changes

    As most of you know, these last few weeks have been pretty difficult for our family. Yes, Wayne's deoployed and that in itself is difficult at times. Especially when big things happen for any of the three girls. My grandfather passed away just shy of two weeks ago due to cancer. He was such a great man and a huge part of our family. Even with being across the country, I never went more than a week without talking to him and my grandmother. It's hard to call there now knowing that I won't get to hear his voice. My aunt, his daughter, is fighting her own battle with lymphoma.  She's so stong and I know she'll pull through this and get better!
   Through all of this I have come to realize so many things that I'd like to share:

1)    Make each day count. I have always been too "afraid" to try new things, say things that I've wanted to, and be me. Not anymore. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow, so why not make every day a new experience. There are several things that I am terrified to do...... Sing in front of people (not sure why since I loved choir, but I am now).. Ride roller coasters. I have once and the people I rode with, were glad when it ended..lol I freaked out, I don't like knowing that I don't have any control over what it's going to do. I always bite my tongue when people ask my opinion and I don't agree with them. I've always been like that. What's the word for it? oh yeah, I'm a pushover. I want to be able to speak how I feel. Even if it's not what everyone else thinks, God gave us our own minds, personalities, and thoughts for a reason. Why have I been hiding that?

2)     Money is just that...money. Yes, we need it to pay bills, feed and clothe our families, but that's it. Why are we so obsessed to make soooooo much. Yes, it's nice to have a savings and know that it's there when we need it. But, if we're saving everything and not doing anything to have fun, is it really worth it? No. Now, I'm not saying go out and spend it on crap, but live a little. Enjoy the time while we have it. What if we die tomorrow? Can you stand there at the Golden Gates and know that you had the most fun you could in life? Will you regret not doing more?

3)     Love with all you have! I LOVE my husband, daughters, family, and friends, but there is more that I can be doing to show that. Wayne and I wrote our own vows for our wedding. To be honest, neither of us remember what we wrote or what each other wrote. I wish we did. We took a trip this past winter to Disney. Just the two of us, just for a few days. We had so much fun just being a carefree couple. We LOVE being parents, but we needed that time for us. We wrote each other letters with new promises. It was very romantic to read them to each other on the beach of our resort. Why do we only do that for special occassions? Why can't we just write them when we feel like it? Too many people think marriage is disposable anymore. It's not. It's something that is supposed to be for a lifetime.

I can't wait to work on all of these. Life is too short to let it slip away.

                    Embrace it...Enjoy it...Live it

The next step

All I can say is it's time to step up my game. I've been working out now for a little over a week and feeling GREAT. I enjoy going to the gym and busting my booty! Am I seeing results yet, oh yeah!!! I have noticed that my pants are baggier and my tummy is flatter. I know I still have a long way to go, but this definately motivates me to keep pushing myself.
I've working with a great trainer since I started, now I'm on my own and know what I have to do. Along with my gym workouts I have changed how I eat. I've cut out the crap, drink so much more water, and count calories. What am I eating?

Breakfast: Special K, or Oatmeal, or Peanut Butter Cheerios (they are healthy:)
Lunch: Progresso Light soups.. Very yummy and filling
Dinner: A homemade salad with carrots, broccoli, grilled chicken, and fat free light dressing.

I think I'm going to add in a workout at home too. I have p90x and Jillian's 30 day shred. Not sure which one I'll start with, but I can't wait to add another workout in each day.
My goal is still to have Wayne walk off that ship on homecoming day and have his jaw drop, if I keep up at the pace I'm at (if not better) I'll reach my goal in no time!!

A little over a week at the gym~ painful and tiring
Working out at home~ more tiring
Getting great results~ worth it
Seeing the look on my husband's face on homecoming day~ worth everything

*************     7 pounds down and counting!   *************************

Gotta Start Somewhere

My weight loss jounrey has been just that, a jouney. I joined Monday and had my first trainer appointment on Tuesday. Let's just say, it was interesting to say the least. She kicked my butt that's for sure. I weighed in, we talked about what my goal was, what I wanted my end result to be, and she created a workout plan for me. It was tough, I'm not going to lie about that, but it was great. I like that she's jumping right in and not "sugar coating" the workout just because I haven't done anything for a while. That's one reason I knew she was a great fit.
Woke up this morning and was pretty sore. It's a great sore though and I know that means it's working:) I went in and just focused on cardio. (helpful hint if you're working on losing weight. Don't just run at one pace, it won't do anything for you. Run for a minute and then slow it down for a minute. If you do that, you're confusing your body and burn more calories)
What motivated me today.....
I weighed in yesterday and then again this morning on the same scale........
I'VE LOST 3 POUNDS ALREADY!!!!!

A fresh Start

That's the size I want to be again ~~~~~>

I am so excited to announce that I joined the gym today!! I've always said that I'd never let myself go, that I'd always work hard to look how I wanted. Well, when you have three kids and a hubby who is home for a week and gone for months at a time, it's hard to put yourself first. Not anymore, I am doing this not only for me but for my husband and kids too.
When I had Lexi I bounced back (almost the exact same size) right away. I took kickboxing classes once a week, and felt great. The day I got married I felt wonderful. Once I had Kayla it was harder to lose. Then we moved again, I stopped going to the gym, got pregnant with Natalie and haven't done anything since. Well, she's 8 months old now and it's time to get back to me!!
I kicked butt today, have my first appointment with my trainer tomorrow (we'll meet three times in the first month and then once a month til we move) We'll do weight and measurments as well as the first hardcore workout she puts together for me. I know I'll be hurting, but I can't wait.
Wayne and I are having a "contest" to see who can lose the most weight over deployment. (he thinks he'll win) We weighed ourselves the night before they left and will the night they get back. I am so excited to beat him on this:)
Starting tomorrow, it's a whole new me. Only healthy foods, working out at the gym everyday, taking walks or working out at home as well.
I'm ready for my fresh start!

A New Year, a New Start

What a start to this new year. I don't even know where to begin.
The girls are all doing wonderfully. Alexis is loving first grade and doing so well. I love watching her learn new things, she's so excited to show us everything she's learned. Kayla is doing very well in preschool. She loves having "her" school and seeing all of her friends. Natalie is five months old today. Where did that time go? I look at all three of them and feel so blessed. I have three happy, healthy, beautiful, perfect daughters!!!
Wayne is getting ready for deployment number two. This one is going to be a little longer than the first one, but I know what to expect now and I know we'll do just fine. Ok, I take that back, you'll never know what to fully expect, but at least we have one deployment under our belt now so we know some things to expect. We've been told that no deployment goes exactly as planned, we found that out last time!!
We are getting ready to go on our first trip just the two of us. I am really nervous to leave the girls. My mom is going to watch them and I know they will be spoiled and will do great, but I've never left them. I feel guilty not taking them, but I know that Wayne and I need this time. We're going to Disney and it'll be alot of fun to run around like kids and just be us.
I know this blog is random, I have so many ideas and I'm not sure where to begin with this again. When I had Myspace, I know, no-one uses that anymore. lol, I blogged all the time. I am a writer, I also express myself better in writing so this is one "resolution" I'd like to keep this year, to get back on track with writing. It always make me feel better to write and get feelings out. That way I don't scream at someone who doesn't deserve it when I need to vent.. lol